Nitty Gritty Elopement-ish Wedding Planning
I am fully aware there is no lack of wedding blogging on the world wide web, but humor me and let me add my advice because I like to hear myself talk (type). I'll probably do a post about the details of my wedding when we get all our photos and video. This will be more of an inspirational fuck traditions and expectations, you do you kind of post.
I think I have some good over all mentality advice that may help you avoid losing: sleep, hair, weight, friends, family, money, sanity, yourself. Believe it or not those are normal things to lose during the wedding planning process, which brings me to the first guiding question.
1. What is worth it to you? I believe that weddings should be a celebration of you and your babe, so they should definitely reflect your style. Duh. That means once you decide to get married, take a sec and think about what would be the most awesome party you could throw to celebrate you and your boo. Weddings should be giddy and fun and beautiful for everyone, so really focus on trimming the fat to make the day all about you guys. In this day and age you can basically choose to do anything you want, so don't let expectations and traditions hold you down!
2. What is your motto? Coming up with a motto early on really helped focus us on what we wanted the day to be. Like I said before, you can basically do anything you want these days. It is all out there somewhere on the internet. Seriously, if you haven't already, you will soon find yourself in crazy pinterest wormholes seriously considering giving up or having a dracula themed wedding. It can be really hard to wade through all your options, especially if you are on a budget or not into the typical pinterest wedding things. A motto can really help keep you sane and focused. Our motto was , "maximum fun, minimum stress". Please feel free to adopt the motto as your own, as it has served us well and will probably serve you well as too.
3. What is your budget? Weddings are CRAZY expensive. Even if you think you are going to have a cheap wedding, you aren't. Think about a reasonable amount of money you would like to spend (its gonna be probably $5,000 or more unless you get married at city hall and have a potluck picnic or something like that, but even then photographers are like $2,000 minimum). I would recommend identifying 2-5 things you absolutely need to have and focusing on getting those lined up. Anything else is extra and awesome, but not a wedding ruiner if it turns out not to be possible. One of those non-negotiable things should ABSOLUTELY be a good photographer! We were thinking we were just going to get a videographer and not a photographer for a couple months, but luckily I saw my friend's engagement photos by professional-ass photographers and I knew in the gut of my stomach that I would totally regret not getting a photographer. I know for a fact that you will too, even if you are just doing some city hall thing. Bite the bullet and get a cool photographer. You will thank yourself when you get the photos of you and your lover boy or girl looking the best you will probably ever look. How else are you gonna brag all over social media?
4. What do you want your guests to remember? This is also an incredibly useful guiding question at the beginning of your wedding planning. Cameron (my hella fine husband of several weeks) and I knew we wanted to make our wedding an event that would be worth coming half way around the world for since we have many dear study abroad friends that we hoped would be able to come. We also knew that no matter what, we wanted everyone to have as much non-stop fun as possible. Cameron was once known as king of the weekend, and it was important for us to make this joyous occasion a true party. We then started to scheme up the wild crazy Vegas/Palm Springs weeklong elopement-ish event that became our wedding. Our goal was to make a wedding that would be fun and goofy for everyone at all times.
5. Know that nothing will go according to your day dreams, and make peace with that. A party should not be so stressful that it becomes a burden. Thats not a party anymore, that is a nightmare. We've all heard about the crazy drama that comes with weddings. I'm hear to tell you that you can just choose to not. Its that simple! Just don't set yourself up for drama. First step: you need to adjust your expectations. A wedding is a fun event in which you get to legally link yourself to your honey. It isn't a fairytale, it isn't an article from kinfolk, and it isn't gonna be everything you ever wanted/saw on Pinterest once. In wedding planning, shoot for the stars because if you end up on the moon thats fucking rad but it isn't worth stressing over.
6. Make the guest list cut throat. I am going to strongly advocate for small weddings for a number (6 to be exact) of reasons. First, your wedding day is gonna be cray and busy and you will only be able to enjoy the day with a handful of people no matter what. That is just the reality of how weddings go. Why not limit it to the handful of people who know you best and will tell you if your boob tape is hanging out or the pose you keep doing makes you look drunker than you are? Second, less people is less money. It's just a plain hard fact. Third, a small guest list gives you the freedom to keep the drama people off the list. You know exactly who they are and damn they are fun, but not when you are trying to have a chill wedding. Fourth, this gives you an excuse to have a fun follow up bbq or dive bar event or Palm Springs weekend to invite all those people you would have invited to a larger wedding. It's basically the best excuse to have TWO parties. Five, coordinating people is the hardest part of the wedding, so why not cut down to make it easier? Six, if the people you surround yourself with truly love you and your boo they will understand and be happy for you. If someone makes a big stink about not being invited they didn't want to come for the #rightreasons anyways and you may think about whether or not to keep giving them that friendship rose (like that bach reference I slipped in there?).
7. Do something rad and unique and awesome because you get to be hella smug when you tell people about it. This is ugly, but true. Do something different because you can and people will love it. When I tell people I got married in Vegas in a 70's inspired jumpsuit by Elvis I feel like they look at me with a mixture of horror and respect and I love it. It also feels like a sleazy little secret that no one would expect looking at me. Making unique, fun wedding plans can also get you unexpected perks. For example, we got a super awesome photographer for a great price because they were stoked on our wedding plans.
Bottom line, don't limit yourself to basic. I believe in you.