I Spent 45 Anxiety Inducing Minutes in the Trader Joe’s Wine Aisle To Find You Fuckers 3 Good Wines Under $10.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE wine, but get so stressed when it comes to picking what to drink. Like J. Snow I know nothing but like my fave bitter bitch Cersi I need more of it ALWAYS. So I just got back from perusing (read: sweating profusely) in a CROWDED Trader Joe’s to find you guys three perf wines to drink all summer long. Cheers Thrillers!
Why I Picked This: TJ’s is no longer carrying the one I actually wanted like the withholding monsters they are. This label looked lively.
Tastes Like: VERY WOODY! Or DRY? Like chewing on a chopstick. In my book this is a good thing.
Pairs Best With: Canceled plans.
Why I Picked This: The label looks like something a fun lady would bring to a party. But to be clear I drank this alone in bed.
Tastes Like: If you ordered a “house red” at a mediocre restaurant and were pleasantly surprised at how good it was. Also tannins.
Pairs Best With: Any “hometowns” episode of The Bachelor, cookie dough from a package
Why I Picked This: Sadie drinks this one and I don’t trust myself picking a rose cuz the one time I did it tasted like a Victoria’s Secret body spray.
Tastes Like: Super fresh and crisp like a young Alec Baldwin , not sweet or floral like Stephen Baldwin.
Pairs Best With: Sliced nectarine for a lazy girl sangria, sneaky day drinking out of a 7/11 cup